The Mummies Chose PBR OVER PRB
Trent prefers to be photographed in black and white because he thinks he's in an old movie. - Photo ©dickslaughter
It’s time to check in with our favorite shrewd businessman and Oakland’s least favorite son, Trent Mummy, and find out what happened to the gig at Punk Rock Bowling that I tried to set up during my interview last year with Shawn Stern (PRB founder, member of Youth Brigade, and former Mummies fan).
Trent: Hello? Who the hell is this?
Dick: It’s Dick.
Trent: What did you call me?
Dick: Don’t be a smartass; it’s me! — Dick Slaughter.
Trent: Oh— Dick! Wait, how did you get this number?
Dick: You're on my family plan, smartass. What the hell happened with PRB? Were you drunk on PBR and missed Mr. Stern's call?
Trent: You know, people are often asking me, “Hey, asshole, are you afraid the Mummies are not punk enough?” The answer is, Yeah, I guess so. We played at Alex’s again instead, you missed it. We played like a month ago.
Trent in a trance at Mosswood Meltdown - Photo ©dickslaughter.com
Dick: You're supposed to book Punk Rock Bowling in Las Vegas, not Alex's Bar in Long Beach.
Trent: Yeah, but Alex's Bar actually pays us. They give us free PBR, and they feed us pickled eggs from down the street, so it's a win-win-win.
Dick: Well, he did say they would pay you, but to give you free beer, PRB can’t afford that. They were going to pay you 2 rolls of nickels each and the buffet coupon. But yeah, free beer and pickled eggs—that’s hard to beat. So do you want to just play at the mini golf course at the Downtowner? They won't care.
Trent: You know I don't like to brag, Dick, but I am known for my subpar golf game. That said, my lawyer is reminding me that I got banned from the Downtowner. I tried to hide a salami in the 5th hole the last time I was there.
Trent doing the splits - Photo ©dickslaughter.com
Dick: What about playing in the In Spite Magazine's fancy high roller suite at the Nugget? They won't say shit because some of the writers have real gambling problems.
Trent: I’ll bring a can of 3-in-1 oil.
Dick: It’s not a Diddy party, smartass. But bring the oil, just in case. I would let you play in my room, but I think I’m staying in my van. Fucking resort fees.
Trent: As a child, I spent many weekends in the back of a van in a casino parking lot. Stop being a pussy about it, Dick.
Bootsy and Trent at Mosswood Meeltdown - ©dickslaughter,com
Dick: You know your mother and I were on a budget. You stop being such a pussy about it. Fine, don't play. I would rather just see Bootsy Collins than you after that fiasco at Mosswood Meltdown.
Trent: Hey, Bootsy was the problem at Mosswood. I keep telling people that, but, man, they just cut that guy so much fucking slack. Is he playing as part of PRB?
Dick: Yeah, he is playing Thursday's Kickoff Party Club Show with Angelo Moore from Fishbone and something called Evil Cult. It looks pretty great, some sort of DJ drum battle mashup thing.
Bootsy Collins headlines the PRB kickoff party Thursday night - ©dickslaughter.com
Trent: Don't get me wrong, he's a real decent guy. He was gonna fill in for Maz full-time, but, man, it's like notes everywhere—all the time. You know what I mean? Like, can we keep it simple, Bootsy? Hey—can you just please play with a fucking pick? Please?
Rare photo of Bootsy Collins using a pick playing with the Mummies at Mosswood Meltdown. - ©dickslaughter.com
Dick: Are you playing anywhere besides Alex’s or just at home with yourself?
Trent: This year we're actually playing more overseas. We're doing the reverse tariff thing and just taxing the shit out of patrons in seedy foreign nightclubs. And if we’re lucky, they won’t let us back in the country.
Dick: How did that show in Europe go with Sheryl Crow?
Trent: I think it was really good for Sheryl. She needs the attention, and who can blame her? I mean, us? We're used to being ignored, but that's no way to make a living. Thank God we have day jobs.
Trent on his throne - ©dickslaughter.com
Dick: One of you guys really needs to learn to use the computer. Russell came in dead last in the In Spite Magazine Punk Hunk of the Year competition because you don't have an Instagram, just that broken .com. He got beat by Jim Pursey and Jack Grisham, for God's sake. He only got 86 votes; he did get one vote from my girlfriend that I am not too happy about.
That is not a microphone. in Spite Magazine's Punk Hunk of the Month October 2024, and 13th place Punk Hunk of the Year Russell Mummy - Photo ©dickslaughter.com
Trent: We've been actively trying to tone down Russell's star power. We had him eat raw meat in the PETA cafeteria while wearing a fur coat. That kind of thing. You don't understand how hard it is to travel with the guy. We're always missing our connecting flights because everyone has to take a goddamn selfie with him, so yeah, congratulations, Jimmy and the other hunks— But we've got fucking flights to catch.
Dick: Well, you wouldn’t like Vegas now anyway; it smells like weed everywhere.
Trent: I live in Oakland. There is more weed in Oakland than at a Phish concert.
Dick: That is my favorite part; it cuts down on the fighting for sure.
Trent: Of course it is, you fucking hippie.
Trent Mummy in all his glory - Photo ©dickslaughter.com
Dick: What would be your favorite part of Vegas or PRB if you actually got invited?
Trent: Getting paid.
Dick: You guys would just spend it all on vintage organs, bandages, and beer anyway. I heard you were playing Coachella next year.
Trent: Yes, we're really trying to increase our reach, and my sources say Coachella draws a pretty decent crowd. We have so much we want to say, and we really need everyone to hear it, because it's important.
Dick: You know, it might be best for you to play the Punk Rock Museum because they usually keep mummies in a museum.
Trent: If you can hook us up with a gig at the Creation Museum, next time I'll swallow.
Dick: That will keep you on my family plan.
Maybe next year. - Photo ©dickslaughter.com
themummies.com sometimes it works
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